I created this artwork as the final piece of my AP portfolio this year. Throughout the year, my sustained investigation had been internal conflict — but I was confused the entire time. Always asking: How can I show this? How can people relate to it? But never asking those questions of myself. As the year went on, my ability to design my paintings deteriorated. I couldn't find ideas or compositions that felt right. Then i saw video that opened my eyes — I realized I had been painting for other people, trying to make others relate to something I couldn't relate to myself. There was no actual message, no genuine piece of me in the work. Somewhere along the way, I forgot that art is a form of self-expression — a way for the artist to share their thoughts, their feelings, their voice. And I hadn't done that in a long time. So for this piece, I made a painting about the conflict I lived through all year: the experience of creating for others, and losing yourself in the process.